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  Despite two weeks elapsing without him being home and having the inevitable where do we go from here conversation, Samiyah wanted to scream excitement for his blooming success. “I’m so happy to hear that and I know Gerran will be just as thrilled as I am.”

  “Correction, thrilled as us three. Well, I have other producers to disappoint.” Zanete chuckled.

  “Thank you so much for the opportunity. Gerran will see to it that she stays number one.” Samiyah rightfully boasted. He was, after all, a beast at what he did.

  “I have no doubts about that. I will email you Pleasure’s schedule. Match it against yours and then let’s discuss studio times. Sounds good?”

  “Sounds great!” Samiyah grinned.

  They disconnected the phone and Samiyah all but jumped out of her seat. She was pleased because working with Pleasure was bragging rights for any producer.

  Everyone wanted an opportunity to work with the fierce R&B/Rap talent who was dominating the charts, but she wanted the fresh breath Gerran breathed into the industry. Plus, she was fond of how hard Samiyah went for Raw Musiq without being aggressive in the process.

  “Maybe this will stop da—Gerran from giving mommy the silent treatment,” she spoke to Lil’ Acacia.

  Over the last year and a half, she had become instrumental to his company and had been intricately working as his right hand, side by side. So, shooting him an email to update him wasn’t going to be sufficient. Her accomplishment merited a verbal sit down with hopes of also being the gateway to their much needed talk.

  After Samiyah got finished burping Lil’ Acacia, she held her up to her face.

  “Mama has some business to take care of. Do you think I can drop you off by Daddy and you be a good girl for him, huh? No throw ups and only one poopy diaper. Can you handle that?” Samiyah made silly willy faces, making her baby coo and giggle.

  She played with her daughter a little while longer and then made a call to Elias.

  “What up, Yah?” he answered as he continued trimming his goatee.

  “I needed to know if you’ll be busy in the next couple of hours because I want to bring Lil’ Acacia over for a little while as I take care of some business.”

  “You want me to watch her?”

  “Yes.”

  “By myself?”

  “Yes, for an hour, tops.”

  “Will she be asleep the whole time?”

  Samiyah had to laugh. His nerves had him asking the most ridiculous questions. “Probably not. Quit acting scary, will ya?”

  “I’m not acting.”

  “You’ll do fine. I promise.”

  “A’ight. We’ll see. Come on through. I’m at the crib.”

  “Cool.”

  Eli hung up the phone and stared at himself in the mirror for a second. He wasn’t ready to care for something so tiny by himself. What if I’m too strong handling her and I break her? What if I’m no good at doing this? Shit, I ain’t ready.

  Meanwhile, Samiyah attempted to call Gerran to let him know she would be passing over to his studio to speak with him on business but he didn’t answer.

  “Boy, I swear.” She shook her head. It irritated her to her soul how withdrawn he was being considering they still have a family and a business between them but she wasn’t going to allow that to damper the delivery of her news.

  Two hours later…

  Samiyah was ringing Eli’s bell. He opened the door, inviting her in.

  She spoke as she entered, sitting the carrier on his sofa and placing the baby bag next to it. Samiyah reached inside of the bag and pulled out three bottles of breastmilk.

  “I’m going to leave one out because she will be ready to eat at any time now. I’m gonna put these two in the fridge. Keep your eyes on her while I do that.”

  Elias nodded his understanding as he found himself smiling at his sleeping baby. You got this, playboy.

  Samiyah returned seconds later and gave him a rundown of the do’s and don’ts.

  “Alright, I’m gonna head over to Gerran’s and after I finish up with him, I’ll be back to get her.”

  “Or you can stay and kick it. Maybe we go to lunch or something.” Elias offered.

  “Like a family?”

  “Nah, not like one. We are one.”

  A bitter sweet feeling came over her. In one corner, she had a husband who felt no sense of duty to her, while on the other, she had a friend who did.

  Swept up in a moment, she wanted to give him a harmless kiss. The kind sweethearts gave before they departed one another but then she looked at their child and realized there was no such thing as harmless when it came down to them.

  She smiled. “That sounds like a great plan.”

  Samiyah bent down, kissed her baby’s hand and whispered. “Mama’s gonna be right back. Remember our agreement, okay?”

  She waved bye as she exited his house, closing the door. No sooner than Samiyah was getting into her car, Elias was charging after her.

  “Oh, Yah. Hol’ on. She wants you.” He lifted the car seat waist high for Samiyah to get a good glimpse at their crying daughter.

  Lil’ Acacia’s sneeze startled her and she began to cry as a result.

  “She doesn’t want me. She wants comfort, so give it to her. And get use to this, Daddy. I won’t always be around to save the day, ya know?”

  “But what do I do? Feed her?” Eli looked absolutely clueless.

  “She could be hungry. She eats every two hours, so you can try feeding her the bottle I left on the coffee table. If she doesn’t want that and her pamper is dry, touch her and hold a conversation with her. She likes that.”

  “All of that?”

  “And then some.” Samiyah smiled at him as she started the engine.

  He looked at Peaches and then back to Samiyah. “Keep yo phone on. Matter of fact, hold it in your hand.”

  “Eli, just remember to support her head when you’re holding her and burp her like I showed you after she eats, okay? Don’t sweat. You’ll do great. You’re a natural with the ladies.”

  “Ladies not babies.”

  “Be back soon, okay?” She blew a kiss at Lil’ Acacia.

  “Yea, a’ight.”

  Samiyah headed out and Eli headed inside with a crying Peaches at his side. He placed her on the sofa and tried removing her from her carrier but was struggling to do so.

  “What the—” Elias couldn’t unbuckle her for nothing. “Who made this?” He looked at the embroidery stitching above her head. Damn you, Eddie Bauer.

  After a minute more, he was finally able to undo the straps.

  He hesitantly pulled her out, grabbed the bottle and took a seat. “You hungry?” He put the bottle in her mouth but she didn’t want it. He tried feeding her the nipple again but she rejected it. He awkwardly tried to rock her like he had seen Samiyah do on many occasions but his touch wasn’t doing the trick. “You’re not being a peach right now. Come on, baby.”

  As her cries continued and bewilderment etched his face, he bounced her some more with the hopes she’d like that enough to stop her fussing. She wouldn’t let up and he didn’t know what to do.

  Yep, I ain’t ready.

  ***

  Samiyah tried calling Gerran again, so she wouldn’t be popping up on him. But he didn’t answer, as she expected.

  Pulling into the parking lot, she saw his car along with another next to it. She hoped he wasn’t too busy with an artist, making it that much easier to brush her off.

  When she walked through the door, the chime of the electronic bell sounded off. A lady appearing to be in her late thirties came from out of the back and approached Samiyah.

  “How can I help you?” Audra held her head high with her shoulder pushed back.

  He went and hired someone. Samiyah kept the sting of his action hidden behind her smile and extended her hand. “Introduce yourself, please. I’m Samiyah.”

  The assistant looked at Samiyah’s hand and then her before she obliged. “I’m
Audra. How can I help you?”

  There was something about her Samiyah didn’t like. Audra was giving a stank vibe for no reason at all.

  “I’m here to see Gerran. I’ll just step in his office.” Samiyah made an attempt to walk past her but Audra stepped in her path.

  “Excuse me, but you can’t go back there. Do you have an appointment?” She began looking through her scheduling app on her phone.

  Who in the fuck do she think she is? Samiyah was puzzled.

  Pictures of her were sprinkled all throughout his office. Audra knew exactly who she was, even without having met her in person prior to today.

  She raised her left hand, pointing at her bodacious diamond rock. “There’s my appointment. Now move, please.” She gently brushed past her and Audra spun on her heels and followed behind her.

  Before Samiyah was able to open the door herself, Audra reached around her and turned the knob, stepping in his office first.

  “Someone is here to see you,” she spoke so politely, so professionally.

  “Thank you,” Gerran casually waved his hand.

  Samiyah gave her the side eye. Someone’s here to see you? Bitch!

  “Would you like your door left open or closed?” Audra asked with too much sugar on top for Samiyah’s taste.

  Samiyah stepped all the way in and off to the side. “We want it closed.” She pushed it shut, forcing Audra to move with it.

  He chuckled. “What you did that for?”

  “Why is she here?”

  “It’s obvious why she’s here but what isn’t is why you are. What you want?”

  “What I want is for you to treat me like the last eight years of our lives count for something. For you to talk to me because our marriage and our family is worth fighting for.”

  Gerran looked at her unbothered by the plea in her eyes. “That’s why you came here? I could have saved you the gas.”

  “Are you being serious right now? Gerran, we weren’t together when Eli and I happened. It was one moment of weakness. One! We had never and I do mean never had any inappropriate dealings prior to that time. And I didn’t know she wasn’t yours. I wouldn’t have caused you intentional pain like that, so why are you deliberately hurting me?”

  He looked at his watch, then flipped through the pages of his planner. “Are you done because if you aren’t, it’s too bad. I have a meeting in a few.”

  “So, you ain’t trying to hear a word I say?”

  “If you that good at peepin’ shit, then why are you still talkin’? And that was rhetorical just in case you thought to answer it.” Gerran stood up to open the door but Samiyah blocked him.

  “Gerran, do you even care that I had a doctor’s visit last Monday and found out I am six weeks pregnant?”

  “With whose baby?”

  Samiyah’s lips curled. She wanted to slap the shit out of him in his mouth for his disrespect, but she bridged back her fury. She knew she deserved most of his wrath but not all. He was now flat out being cruel.

  “Believe what the hell you will but I’m still your wife and this is your baby!”

  “Both are to be determined.” Gerran’s words were as icy as his stare.

  Samiyah didn’t know how to respond to his bitterness. Everything she said was welcomed with disregard and retaliation.

  She broke down for a second. Her eyes shifted to the other side of the room so she wouldn’t have to look into his remorseless orbs.

  A few feet over sat their wedding picture amongst other photo memorabilia. She walked over to it and snatched it from off of the shelf. She marched back over to him and he gave her a look of disinterest.

  Her voice cracked but she pushed through her astonishment. “What ever happened to for better or for worse? You’re acting like you don’t even give a fuck.”

  He took the photograph from her and then threw it in his waste basket. “Maybe it’s because I don’t.”

  “Fuck you!” That blew her fuse and she snapped, pushing him as hard as she could although she was barely able to move him an inch.

  Samiyah stormed over to the door and slung it open only to find Audra listening at it. “Get the fuck up out my way!” Samiyah bumped shoulders with her as she walked into the hallway.

  “Ahh, is everything okay?” Audra took a passive aggressive method, speaking directly to Gerran but indirectly addressing his wife.

  Samiyah spun around and stood in her face so closely their noses were on the verge of touching. “And if it wasn’t. What the fuck you gon’ do about it?”

  “Samiyah! Leave!” Gerran stood between them and pointed for her to step.

  Samiyah looked at him angrily. She wanted to bruise, if not damage, his ego in the same manner he was breaking her heart and embarrassing her in front of Audra.

  “I shouldn’t have come because you are every bit of the bitch Elias said you are.”

  That struck a chord with him. “Get the fuck out, for real.” He grabbed at her arm to escort her out personally but she jecked away from him.

  “Don’t touch me!” Her feelings were hurt and Audra’s happy response to it was puzzling her, adding to her pisstivity.

  Samiyah had no idea pain would transform him into a vindictive and uncaring S.O.B. but it had.

  She stormed out of his office, jumped in her car and pulled off onto Haynes Blvd.

  Samiyah couldn’t go back to Eli’s just yet. She had to get something off of her chest, so she parked at an empty lot, got out of her vehicle and headed across the four lanes of traffic to the other side where the levee was. She scaled the steep hill until she stood at the top of the climb.

  It was there that she let out a gut wrenching scream and cried a river for what appeared to be irreversible damage.

  Chapter 19

  “Tell me I’m not doing the wrong thing?” Blu was second guessing her decision to see Eli on the drive over to his house.

  “What’s wrong is denying what you feel is the right thing to do.” Kanari coached her into following her heart.

  “He hasn’t tried reaching out to me since that day. Do you think I’m weak for going to him?”

  “Are you weak?” Kanari countered with a question of her own.

  “No.”

  “There’s your answer, so quit trippin’. Have the talk. See what happens when the both of y’all can talk this thing out without being all defensive and shit.”

  “You’re right and thank you for not trying to talk me out of this. I probably would have listened for fear of being stupid.”

  “Girl, friendship don’t mean do what I do for me to have your back. It means I will support you in what you do, period. I’ma stay in your passenger seat. I’m ya rider, you know that.”

  “Until the wheels fall off.”

  Blu and Kanari have had their share of rough patches over the years but regardless to who did what, they both vowed to work whatever it was out. True friendship was hard to find and that old adage proved true when it came to her relationship with Elias as well.

  “I’m almost at his place. What are you about to do?”

  “Shid, I’ma smoke, eat and sleep.”

  “That’s all?”

  “Shit no! Take out the trash, too. Thanks for reminding me.”

  “You are stoopid, for real.”

  “You already knoooowwww!” Kanari said in her Big Freedia voice.

  “Girl, I’ll talk to you when I see you at work tonight.”

  “Alright. Talk to you then.”

  Blu dropped her phone into her purse and drove down the 7th ward streets until she found herself parked on Eli’s.

  Ten minutes had elapsed and she found herself still sitting outside of his house, hesitating to knock on his door. But as usual, her grandmother’s sage advice rang loudly in her mind.

  “Live with no regrets. Shoulda, woulda, coulda should be three words you know nothing about.”

  She stepped out of her car and onto his porch. The cries of an infant could faintly be heard the moment
she stood close enough to the door. Blu sighed and shook her head. A part of her wanted to leave him alone to deal with the choice he made but the other side of her couldn’t do that in good conscious.

  She rapped on the door. He didn’t answer immediately. Her guess was his hands were full, so Blu waited a little longer before knocking again.

  When he opened up, the first thing Blu saw was an upset baby with rosy colored cheeks in his arms and a father who looked to be struggling.

  It wasn’t Blu’s nature to disregard the need of another just to accommodate her own, so she instinctually reached for Peaches as she placed her purpose for coming by on the back burner.

  “May I?”

  He nodded his head, beckoning her inside as he reached her his daughter.

  “How long has she been crying?” Blu began a motherly bounce as she used a calming voice to settle her.

  “If we basing it off of dog years, she been crying for two of ‘em, feel like. But maybe the last forty-five minutes, off and on. More on, though.”

  Blu reached for her bag and pulled out the blanket and spread it on the cushion of the sofa. She laid her on it and began taking the bottom of her outfit off. She felt her diaper. It was soggy.

  “Eli! She is soaked.”

  He hunched his shoulders. “I didn’t know that. How you know?”

  She took his hand and placed it on the front of the pamper. “Squeeze. You feel that squishiness?” He nodded his understanding. “That’s how I knew.”

  She changed her into fresh one after cleaning her tush. “Does that feel better? He didn’t mean to leave you with a wet tookus,” Blu spoke to a still fussy Peaches.

  “Why she still crying?”

  “I don’t know but we are about to figure it out.” Blu leaned forward and grabbed her bottle off of the coffee table, positioned Peaches in the cradle of her arm and began feeding her.

  Peaches latched on and greedily began devouring her milk.

  “Oh, now she wants to eat?” Elias questioned audaciously.

  “After a game of basketball, do you eat or shower first?”

  “A’ight. I feel ya.” Elias didn’t like feeling dirty and it was apparent to him that she got his ways on that one.